So here’s the thing. I avoid talking about politics.
Partly because of where I work, partly because I don’t care how other people vote, partly because I’ve voted differently in every single election for which I’ve been eligible. This is not about politics in general or individual parties or an election.
This is about one bill. This is about standing up.
Today the Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Bill was drawn from the ballot. It will, eventually, be debated in the House.
To quote from the Bill itself “This Bill will make it clear that a marriage is a union of 2 people regardless of their sex, sexual orientation, or gender identity. It will ensure that all people, regardless of their sex, sexual orientation, or gender identity will have the opportunity to marry if they so choose.”
I support marriage equality. I am married. I am also bisexual*.
For the past 8 years New Zealand has had the Civil Union Act which has allowed same sex couples to legally recognise their unions. That the State will allow them to get ever-so close to marriage equality and still deny it. To say ‘yes, of course you’re equal … almost’. To say ‘we support your right to everything but’.
That was fine. As a first step. After eight years the next step is overdue.
I’m not coming out because I feel like that validates my support of marriage equality. I think my being a rational human being does that. I’m coming out because, maybe, you didn’t know. Because maybe you assumed that a sexuality slightly off normal would be visible in some way. Because I’m happy to stand up and be counted.
My husband and I support marriage equality.
And, damn it, if everything falls apart with Craig, and the next person I fall for is a woman? I would hate that I couldn’t marry her too.
* always have been, probably always will be, it’s not a big deal.
I’ve liked Friday the Thirteenth for as long as I can remember. As an essentially unsuperstitious person I find superstitions intriguing. I’ve never found the day to be especially ominous. Quite the opposite in fact. I’d say it’s among my top five days of the year.
Not that I actually keep count of my top five days of the year. But, you know. If I did.
So, on Friday the 13th of July, the final Friday the 13th for 2012, I celebrated with a tattoo.
Did you know my wedding rehearsal was on a Friday the 13th? That’s worked out pretty well so far.
And yesterday, Craig and I celebrated 13 years of dating.
(not really – it was 12 years. But wouldn’t have that just been too perfect for words?)
Also – it turns out that the back of one’s arm is really rather difficult to photograph.
I know little about Nora Flanagan. I know she is a teacher, I know she runs turnitdown.com, I know she is a poet, I know she has some beautiful tattoos, I know she made me, alone in my office, applaud this video and burst into tears.
(please watch past the finger snaps)
On the week where I am getting my tenth tattoo and talking to an artist about an eleventh? This is important to me. Please watch it.
A few of my favourite phrases
x this is a story written in permanent ink, in a language only I can understand
x When playground pageant princess momthers stare down my illustrated guide to parenting I wonder what their children will learn from what they see, because my boys know that we do not judge by skin.
x days where my body and the stories I have written on it feel like the only real thing I have.
x my tattoos hurt as much or as little as the moments in my life that lead me to them.
x my father HATES them. Until you do.
x when you get old, will you be grateful that you never wrote the moments of your life in permanent ink?
x Do they mean anything? they mean everything, only it’s not your picturebook.