So now we’re both night-time crazy people – at least we’re even.

On Friday night apparently I went Crazy.

I woke up just before 2am with the intense KNOWLEDGE that there was a horrifying, creepy bug crawling across the bed towards me, heading right for me, possibly with a view towards paralyzing me with poison and eating me very very slowly while Craig slept on mere inches away.
But I digress (when do I ever not?), in my mind (or at least I think it was, I’m still not sure if it was real or not) this bug was a cross between a weta and a daddy long legs spider – all menacing arched legs and swaying body – so I was sitting up in an instant, looking back at the space of warm sleep softened sheet I’d just been lying on. Now of course it was covered with ominous dips and whorls, hollows perfect for hiding bug assassins.
At about this point I was staring at the sheet, trying to track the bug IN THE DARK, when Craig turned over and looked at me. In the instant it took to see him, I LOST THE BUG, so of course I whispered (who was I afraid of waking? Maybe afraid of giving away my position, always stealthy am I) “there’s a bug in the bed” and he just looked at me.
So again I said, “there’s a BUG in the BED” and again he just looked at me – perhaps as though I was crazy – of course I was terrified because I’d lost the bug and Craig WAS NOT HELPING.
I thought about lying back down for about a second, but I didn’t want to become bug prey, and besides, any husband that won’t turn on the light to help his panicked wife find a huge horrifying bug deserves to be pouted at, so I grabbed my cellphone (I had an alarm set), and flounced out to the lounge.

I ended up sleeping on the couch. I was wrapped in 2 bright green blankets and, being rather short, I do fit on the couch so I wasn’t cold or uncomfortable, which was unfortunate because that sure would have showed Craig.

I waited until it was light enough to spot bugs and went back to our bed. I sat there with a book and Craig turned over “morning baby” … “… morning”
Nothing.
I spent the next few hours pouting at him with half my mouth because really, he should have mentioned something, until finally I did and found out that HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.
He had been asleep the whole time, when I was being terrified by the bug and when I flounced out to sleep on the couch – HE HADN’T EVEN MISSED ME.
So, I had a fight with Craig while he was asleep. That takes dedication.

It reminds me of the 22nd December 2005 when I wrote this :
Last night was a little Crazy.
by Last night I mean at 1:47 this morning.
I woke up to Craig throwing our ENTIRE duvet off the bed. I immediately thought of Kirk in Gilmore Girls (eep) and the documentary airing on tv tonight about Night Terrors that lead to violence (eep). He sat up and huffed as if he couldn’t sleep because he’s too hot, so no night terrors. I put my hand on him and got no response (seriously eep!).
He then leaned over, gathered up the blanket, covers himself, lies back down and makes going to sleep noises.
me : uh Craig?
c : yea?
me : you awake?
c : yea
me : you sure?
c : yea
me : 100%?
c : … yea?
me : because you just pulled the blankets completely off me, threw them on the floor, then put them back all on you!
c : oh baby !! I’m sorry !
me : it’s ok. But uh give me some blankets though.

And, on a not completely unrelated note :
This morning my alarm woke me up from a very very strange dream where the movie March of the Penguins (which I have not seen by the way) was about an aquarium (but shaped like a very large swimming pool, nothing in terms of fake natural habitat) that houses white whales and white seals, and as it was a little small the seals kept being whacked about by huge whale-tails.
I felt very badly for the seals.
Apparently my sub-conscious doesn’t realise that whales and seals are not exactly Penguins at all.

Advertisements

Anzac Day – Some people fear war, I fear moths.

Last night Craig and I were watching Grey’s Anatomy (oh how I love it) when an ad came on that featured a girl (and then a boy) being terrorised by a moth.
Craig : oh come on! It’s just a moth
Sarah : Just a Moth? JUST A MOTH? They’re flying rats with wings! Gah.
Craig : but … it’s just a moth…
Sarah : no they divebomb and they’re furry and gah the huge ones ughhhh
Craig : Huge ones? They’re tiny
Sarah : Uh, have you seen the ones as big as your, well, my hand? HAVE YOU?
Craig : ha! As big as your hand??
Sarah : … yes!
Craig : no … really?
Sarah : … YES! As BIG as MY HAND. I’ve seen them twice and the first time I freaked out shaking for 45 minutes before crying and the next time it kept me from the kitchen because I could see it on the chair and it looked like it was breathing and they’re so awful
Craig : huh.
Sarah : I’m going to google “Giant Terror Moths” tomorrow and prove it.

But “Giant Terror Moths” only brought back reviews of Blood Beast Terror, a 1969 movie about a creature that is capable of transforming back and forth between a giant Death Head moth and a beautiful woman. The creature masquerades as his daughter when she is in her human incarnation and feeds on the blood of her victims when she is in the moth form. which sounds really fucking scary but not exactly real, or native to New Zealand (I hope).

TERROR MOTH

Puriri moth
Aenetus virescens
Of the more than 1500 different moths in New Zealand, the biggest and most spectacular is the puriri or ghost moth of the North Island.
The female’s wingspan can be up to 15-centimetres, its pale velvety-green colour very ghost-like.

A GIANT MOTH also known as the GHOST MOTH ?? I think my fear is justified.
Also – wing span = 15cm? Sarah’s hand span = 16cm.
So it is Definitely AS BIG AS MY HAND.

It’s no better when the wings are furled around its fat furry creepy moth body.

Image hosting by Photobucket

Apparently all these years Craig has thought my fear of moths (the same fear that has brought me to tears at times) is based on

Image hosting by Photobucket
The Silver Y moth Chrysodeixis eriosoma
Wing span = 36 mm

He has no faith in me at all.

Sarah : So wait, all this time you’ve thought my fear of moths stemmed from those tiny furry Kauri* moths?
Craig : Well, you’ve been known to think some crazy things.

* Please note : Googling for Kauri Moths bore no fruit (so to speak) and so I had to wade through photo after photo of horrifying furry moths until I guessed at something that looked familiar. I now have extremely tense arms because moths tend to make my arms twitch in disgust (the fear is in my head and my stomach).
The things I do for you, I swear.

What? I’m a grown up.

Image hosting by Photobucket

There was widespread flooding in Lower Hutt on Saturday night.
Coming home from work at 11pm, the taxi driver swerved to avoid a puddle (lake!) that took up the entire left hand side of the road.
So as soon as I got home I did what any sane person would do … I put on my hooded jacket, grabbed my keys and camera, and ran through the lake in my canvas converse.

I dripped back home, euphoric.