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Somewhere in my youth, or childhood, I must have done something, something …

I seem to have the worst luck with London. I'm choosing to not see this as a sign.

Firstly, I only found out about the HSMP (5 year visa) after I was no longer eligible on my pre-London New Zealand salary.

Secondly, just as I was settling into the idea that Craig would really be sponsored to stay in London, the company pulled out.

Thirdly, they changed the HSMP to Tier 1 (still a 5 year visa) which increased the amount of money-earned required to apply.

Fourthly, finally, and just THIS MORNING they announced changes to the Working HolidayMakers Visa/Tier 5 which makes it two years working instead of one year. The one year that Craig has worked and was why we had to come back to New Zealand. And it is changing on the 27th November. If it does happen to change our visas at all, it still means that we would get back to London in early December and have to leave again 6 scant months later as our visas completely, entirely, forever-and-ever expire on the 9th of June 2009. Oh and you can't apply for WH/Tier 5 more than once in a lifetime.

This news is killing me. It is the epitome of the straw that is breaking my back.

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In actuality, it just means that we just have to keep calm and carry on. I work and work and work and work and next year we apply for Tier 1 visas.
The uncertainty is hardest. I wish I knew that we would get back to London. I wish I knew that we would get the visas. I wish I knew that all this work and stress and planning was going to result in something other than a stomach ulcer.
I wish I wish I wish.

Today …

9 months ago today I was starting work in London after our trip to San Francisco & was dying from jetlag.

8 months ago today Craig and I spent the day at the National Portrait Gallery and purchased my darling MacBook.

7 months ago today we went to an Irish Food Festival in Covent Garden and spent the afternoon in a pub. It was a Sunday after all.

6 months ago today we were lying low after our weeked in Paris.

5 months ago today I had the day from hell. It was a Tuesday after all.

4 months ago today it was my baby sister’s birthday and I overheard that my London replacement had been hired.

3 months ago today I was temping in New Zealand and accidentally colour coordinated with the girl I was sitting next to.

2 months ago today I watched Craig apply false eyelashes to 16 & 17 year old girls. My baby baby sister’s friends. It was their ball and he has eerily steady hands. I was also newly tattooed.

1 month ago today my darling Kat arrived in London. We took her to our favourite neighbourhood restaurant and I witnessed my second crime in London (teenage boys stealing bicycles).

Today? I removed pages from one file, wrote down the name of the pages, and put them into a different file. I also organised glasses of water & cups of tea. In between that excitement I wrote this, and, while listening to my book-on-iPhone, wrote down the first twenty words read that started with s:

starting, standard, school, showing, seen, suspect, streams,states, sudden, scholarly, sun, still, surgeons, spaces, science,starting, stirred, sun, slump, strangely

sigh

Caution. Vitriol included below.

My mother had warned me about this. She warned me and still, as I caught it out of the corner of my eye I couldn’t help myself. I sat forward in the passenger seat and held, white knuckled, on to the dashboard.

For F's Sake National

This arse-wanking, cunt-fucking, piece of shit sign is why I will NOT be voting for the National Party* come November the 8th.

Arrrrrrgggggghhhhh

It should read FEWER. For Fuck‘s Sake. ARGH.

* Well, that and their no-child-left-behind, life-in-prison-means-life-in-prison, let’s-give-them-money-now-and-hope-they-don’t-miss-it-when-they’re-64, right-wing, reactionary, lowest-common-denominator politics.

In an unrealistic world ….

My 25th Birthday swiftly approacheth.
Thankfully I don’t seem to be too worried. But then, perhaps my “Quarter Life Crisis” is simply being overpowered by my lack-of-London ennui. Or perhaps it’s because I still (STILL!) just feel like I’m playing at being a Grown Up.

Either way, I’m glad with a capital G that for once in my life I’m not freaking out at a so-called Milestone.

In an unrealistic world here is the wishlist I would have handed over to my Darling Other Half:

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A large Moleskine diary and a PoGo (to inspire my 365 project), a trip to Rome, a jingling charm bracelet, the Chanel Union Jack bag (only £925!), a traditional rose 1/4 sleeve tattoo, a pearl massage ring from Coco de Mer, Oui ring by Dior, fuschia Marc by Marc Jacobs bag, a Miu Miu bag, Tifany’s platinum & diamond bow necklace, ornate Miu Miu heels, an icecream cake, and cupcakes!

Not pictured: A daschund, a Nissan Figaro (!), a job at a magazine, MAC makeup, the ability to whistle, a trip to Paris, an heirloom diamond ring, a large fuschia coloured flower pin, gladiator sandals, blonde hair, two other tattoos, and the Oxford English Dictionary.

P.s. Last year I spent my birthday in Dublin. This year I was supposed to be in Italy. But plans change and I determined to make the most of a birthday where I am not in the continent of my dreams, and without most of my favourite people.

P.p.s. We do have plans to go to Italy. Perhaps next June or July? Craig and I are saving our pennies (eek. Cents.) and even if we don’t get our Tier 1 visas we are still grabbing back packs, sensible shoes (I have to buy sneakers. Ick.), and Eurail passes for a month long European jaunt.