Craig grinned the other day as we were getting ready to go to sleep “I found your song! Remind me to play it for you. Some other time.” great. Cause I do so well with anticipation*. A few days (and one reminder) later, an mp3 arrives at my inbox:
Whole Lotta Rosie by AC/DC
Huh. Well. I do like Rosie as my nickname but … whole lotta? As in trouble? As in? hmm. Worrisome.
But I do like AC/DC** so I start it playing:
Wanna tell you a story
‘Bout a woman I know
When it comes to lovin’
Oh she steals the show
Eesh. Much less romantic than I’d hoped. Although it was about what I’d expected. I grit my teeth just the teeniest bit.
She ain’t exactly pretty
Ain’t exactly small
Forty-two, thirty-nine, fifty-six
You could say she’s got it all
Wait … WHAT?
This is the point where I start to fervently hope that Craig hasn’t actually been paying attention to the lyrics.
Never had a woman
Never had a woman like you
Doing all the things
Doing all the things you do
I should certainly hope not! See, Craig and I have been dating since I was 16 and he was 17***.
Ain’t no fairy story
Ain’t no skin and bone
But you give it all you got
Weighing in at nineteen stone
Okay. Really? REALLY?
First of all, does he even know how many kilos there are in a stone****? I know I’m not skin and bone (and I have very little desire to be so) but … ugh.
And secondly! in combination with the not pretty lyric? You just don’t send this to a person you’re hoping to ever see naked ever again.
Just then I notice an email Craig sent mere minutes after sending me the mp3:
Actually I think its about a very big woman, so not you.
He’s a very lucky man. This is the response I sent him
Even though I wasn’t really mad. Bemused! who DOES that?
* I don’t.
** Shush. Hair metal is my not-so-secret shame.
*** Yep. Really.
**** It’s 6.35 kilos for every one stone.