RIP 2013

Wednesday: teeniest crystal skull

Every time I tried to think properly about this year that has passed all I got was a ringing in my ears. In so many ways this has been the best and worst year of my life. And I’m getting old, so that’s saying a lot.

I can’t bring myself to look back at resolutions or write about anything let alone everything that happened this year. Because, truly, it felt like Everything happened this year.

I’ve ended 2013 feeling happy, free, honest, thinner, more colourful, more nourished.
Also, probably, less healthy and with a sense of sweet sadness. There must be a German word for that feeling.

There is a German word for my feelings about 2014: vorfreude. A form of anticipation that imagines future pleasures.

I did keep a running tally of Very Good Things that happened in 2013. Here are just a select few:

x Miracle berries
x woodfired pizza
x Shakespeare plays
x seeing a beached shark get rescued
x that time Mermaids played the Pitch Perfect soundtrack on the street
x Kitty Gang tattoos
x Jennifer Lawrence at the Oscars
x my new job!
x ten hours of Made in Chelsea
x buying an apartment
x commissioning a tattoo from Devon Anna Smith
x knitting circle
x Wellington storms – the survival thereof
x coming out to Craig and he was the MOST supportive
x “You’re modern art to me.”

I think I’ll keep this up for 2014.

Vorfreude

Oh Winter

I really do enjoy winter. I am, at heart, a cold-weather girl.
However, for event crisp clear morning there are days of grey and gloom and grizzle. Those days I cannot abide.
I struggle with winter, is what I’m saying.

Snow on the Buddha

As such, I am pleased my calendar is filled up. In order to stave off the mean-reds of SAD I have booked myself to the hilt with things to make me smile.

It all starts this Saturday with a brunch. I find that most good things start with a brunch.
After that I have two different tattoos booked, five film festival films, a 29 hour trip to Auckland for friends and art and more brunch, Wellington on a Plate, a hangi night with family, an engagement party, and a weekend away in Greytown.

All of this in the next … five weeks.

And in between it all, should I get bored and cold and despondent, I have warm knitting to keep me warm and my hands engaged.

Winter’s not looking too terribly bleak right now.

Tuesday: freaking winter

Note: the snow photo is from the crazy winter of 2011

24 Photos.

1st A picture of you
New glasses!

2nd A picture of you at home.
This is how the rest of the night is remembered.

3rd A picture of you with friends.
Photobooths are the best

4th A picture of someone you admire.
Oh no wait, maybe this one is
(my Mama)

5th A picture of you that was taken last summer.
Pastels

6th A picture of someone you love.
Beautiful boy

7th A favourite picture of you
<3

8th A picture from an excellent evening.
Hallowpost: Weeping Angel

9th A picture of your room.
Saturday: flat viewing AND lease signing
I don’t actually have one.

10th A picture of your favourite animal.
Stingrays!!
I love stingrays.

11th A picture of your future dreams.
Sunday: Beautiful buildings in Hampstead Heath
London

12th A picture of someone you miss.
Kat and Dave

13th A picture of some of your favorite things.
Friday: Red Wine and waiting on Laura

14th A picture of you that you did not know that it was taken.
Grumpy cats! (Photo blatantly stolen from @vitamink)

15th A picture of one of your favorite quotes.
Fin!

16th A picture of you as a child.
Me and Mary, Queen of Scots

17th A picture of you as a teenager.
Sarah-Rose and Craig. Babysize!
I was 16! We had been dating two weeks!

18th A picture of your family.
Trying to get a family shot
Just missing Mama.

19th A picture of you today.
Getting my tatts out at work. Doesn't happen often.

20th A picture of your wish list this year.
wishlist2012
I asked for running gear. Who the fuck am I?

21st A picture of you when you are sad.
Gawsh. That song just gets me every damn time.

22nd A picture of you when you are happy.
Blisteringly happy right now. Can you tell?

23rd A photo that best describes your mood today.
Monday: coffee with Amy

24th A photo from a previous Christmas.
Sisters
Christmas 2010

A well-recorded life

2011
Tuesday: Eastbourne Women's Club
Life was difficult and strange. The election was looming.

2010
Paratus
I travelled to Auckland for a very big tattoo.

2009
Working bee fingernails
I was acting, exercising, learning to make the most of what I had.

2008
Charm Bracelet: St Paul's Cathedral
I was back in New Zealand, temping, unhappy, gaining weight.

2007
Louise Bourgeois & St Pauls
I lived in London and spent my birthday in Dublin.

2006
He's looking at me!
I was newly married and living in suburbia.

This is crazy … but here’s my [search terms]

One of the absolute best things to do is to peer, curiously, at the search terms people have used to find this little site.

Here are some of the favourites. Or the most perplexing:

Moustache scented Rose
1983 Orangina
Sarah Morbid
John Waters Ireland
oh my, was that in the script?
Eastbourne whores
workshop girl with plait
Men ridiculous haircut
pin up shoots herself
Beauty mark on Breast
incest
herpes of the eye
famous werecat

and the ever ubiquitous iterations of:
girls with tattoos turn me on.

But my absolute, and possibly all time, favourite?

Angry Racoon

Thoughts become things

It feels like a million but it was only two years and nine months ago that I posted my 2009 birthday wish list. I came across this by accident and I realised something surprising.

I was hoping for:

2009 Birthday Wishlist

This beautiful copy of The Bell Jar, Protea charm & Protea ring by Meadowlark, Cupcakes (!), Peonies, the permission for Craig and I to live in the UK for as long as we like, beautiful underwear, a Kodak Duaflex vintage camera, St Paul’s Cathedral back in my life, a traditional peony tattoo, a black retro-style scooter, Chloe Sevigny for Open Ceremony Wedges, Meadowlark pyramid stud bangles, a Marc by Marc Jacobs bag in a berry berry hue.

And two years, nine months later? honest to anything, it would be easier to list the items I do not have.
I do not own that copy of The Bell Jar, I do not have a black retro-style scooter, my Chloe Sevigny for Open Ceremony Wedges are Jeffrey Campbell knock-offs but besides that?
The permission to live in the UK was really just the best.

I was surprised. I am a fortunate fortunate person.

It was nice to remember that.

(It hasn’t been two years nine months of presents, it has been two years, nine months of working hard and saving harder. And a couple of presents)

Another year over

Saturday: Charlotte getting bronzed

2011 was a year with a lot of up, a lot of down, and quite a bit of in between.

In 2011 Craig and I said goodbye to the Hutt Valley for city living in Wellington. We travelled to Hawaii and not much of anywhere else. Work was both stressful and fulfilling, full of sound and fury, culminating in … not a lot.
My family expanded by one when my baby sister got married. Full family dinners are now a table of eight.
I am skinnier, richer, happier, and more complicated than ever before. I made new friends, kept old ones, and made the most of living in town.

Best of all, best of all, I became an Irish citizen.

In 2011 I resolved to:
x be more frugal – yes? yes.
x maintain the healthy-ish lifestyle I managed in 2010 – yes.
x declutter – oh yes.
x take a photo every damn day – yes! yet again. I missed two self-portraits though.
x keep percolating this tattoo idea. – yes! and uh … also yes.

I am ever so excited about 2012:
x Europe*
x a new job**
x taking a photo every damn day
x new tattoos***

Let’s see how it goes. I can’t wait!

LONG HAIR Au Revoir 2011
first and last

* in April Craig and I are, leave from work notwithstanding, heading to Europe for a month.
** fingers crossed. I have leads and plans.
*** I have plans for two in 2012. I’ve managed to make it onto the list for one of my wishlist artists. I cannot wait.

Life Tourist

One of the things I like most about taking a photo every damn day is looking back at this day in years past.

2008
Craig at the Royal Opera
Craig and I had dinner in Paris. As you do.

2009
Saturday: Almost forgot! Tiki. Macro.
I almost forgot to take a photo and ended up with this shot of our Hawaiian Tiki.

2010
Synday: Starwars Potato Heads on the set of Tetris Cops
I was filming Tetris Cops and the location was home to Star Wars Potato Heads.

2011
Daylight savings
Daylight Savings changed again and the light workday morning was unnerving.

Some years are more exciting than others …